David Speaks... Psalms 51

The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.~ Winston Churchill.

This Sunday in church, Rev. Hicks preached on David and his relationship with Bathsheba... I could relate on so many levels and I actually was able to see Psalms 51 through new eyes.  In the past it was just a chapter in the Bible that I often thought had no relevance to me.  However, in the past six months, I have seen that it has had plenty of relevance.  I like David, freely admit my faults, while others are happy is place blame instead of take responsibility, which at this point, is no longer my problem. In fact, Rev. Hicks alluded to the fact, that when we are doing something wrong, we turn our attention to trying to hide the sin, and it becomes an obsession or a fixation of sorts.  I thought about my own situation and the things in my own personal life that I let go in an effort to please someone else, who I've come to realize, was lying from the beginning. I mean anyone who tells you about robbing a Subway in their hometown, AFTER they had enlisted and deployed, probably has questionable integrity. Or uses workplace assets for personal reasons will probably not be too thrilled when that is pointed out and details given. Yeah, I was blinded by lust, much like David, yep no love there, and basically ignored my conscience.

In the end it really was not worth it, because my conscience was not clear, nor could I sleep until I told the truth. Much like David... In fact, David was in such denial, when Nathan came and told him the story about the poor man's ewe, he demanded that justice be done, until Nathan mentioned, "Hey David, I am talking about you!"...  Talk about spot on!

Once David's infidelity was seen and acknowledged by him, then he could move forward.  Which from a personal perspective, I have found that being forthright has been of more benefit than hiding being a series of complicated lies about the situation. David did several things to hide the lie.  One was to get Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, to come home from the battlefront and try to get him to sleep with her to cover up the fact that he got her pregnant.  Once that didn't work David tried getting him drunk so he would go home, but being the type of soldier he was, he wasn't about to go home when he had men in the field in danger.  Lastly, David sent word to Joab to have Uriah sent to the main battle and then basically frag him.  

So how could David who was called a man after God's own heart, falter and fall into adultery.  He did what most people do, allow their idle time to be filled with things that are neither positive or conducive to healthy relatiionships.  See David was bored, he had decided not to go to battle with the Israelites as was the custom.  Rather he couldn't sleep and went to his rooftop to think.  There is where is found Bathsheba bathing.  Lust took over and the rest is history. In fact, after the child they had together had died, David, even though he was ashamed and now suffering, was willing to go and ask for repentence. Instead of blaming Bathsheba, or even Uriah, when he was confronted with his sin, he chose to do what he had to, tell the truth, repent and change his ways.  Once he did that, he was rewarded, but ONLY after he did that. 

In the last six months, I was faced with a similar situation in that I realized that in the commencement of keeping idle hands busy, resources and other items were abused by the other party in an effort to continue doing what I knew was wrong.  In an effort to make things right, I even put myself out there and told the truth which was then laughed at and the other party tried to cover up.  Whatever, that is in the past and as far as I care, I did the right thing.  I have found that doing the right thing, is admired by people that I least expected, in fact an individual in charge of an investigative process commended me not once, but several times for telling the truth and being as transparent as possible.  

Was it easy? No way! I had to recount situations and dates that the other person conveniently forgot.  Thanks to a GPS and receipts, it was evident who was telling the truth.  But I had a choice, the "easy wrong" or the "hard right". The hard right is what I chose and to be honest, I feel totally free of the situation and the mess. In fact, I have no desire to even know what is going on in the life of the person, because I really do not have desire to associate with people who even in the face of evidence, continue to lie or blame others (including their spouses). In fact, some of the comments that were directed at me were a last ditch effort to intimidate or harass me and to be honest, I didn't get too worried because  I knew this would probably happen. You know people are desperate when they leave a paper trail just to intimidate you and even throw their ridiculous, amateur, psychological diagnosis in the mix. Little did this person know that the job they encouraged me to go for, has been positive instead of a negative. So thank you for the encouragement, I'll take a career move and a salary increase, a positive in this negative, any day!!! The same person lying about the situation also told me enough information to eventually write a book if I so choose. 

Back to the lesson at hand: You have to admire David though, he finally realized what I did, duty, honor, integrity, and character may be ridiculed by others, but in the end it's what matters. And honestly, take my blog posts, share then with the world, and waste your time obsessing over it. Life is pretty good from where I'm sitting.

Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
    you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

¹³ Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    so that sinners will turn back to you.
¹⁴ Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
    you who are God my Savior,
    and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
¹⁵ Open my lips, Lord,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
¹⁶ You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
    you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
¹⁷ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart
    you, God, will not despise.

¹⁸ May it please you to prosper Zion,
    to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
    in burnt offerings offered whole;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.