Suicide....

Though this has nothing to do with my journey, it has in a way, impacted it.  I lost a good friend this weekend to military related suicide.  Please read the below letter and consider using it as a guide for writing a letter to your own to our nation's leaders.  I am slightly depressed but mostly very upset and angry that a dear friend chose to end his life by pulling the trigger.  Once I sort all this out, I will have something more to say, but until then, please read the below letter and doing something yourself about this, yes, "epidemic".  Not all war wounds are the ones that you see....

November 22, 2011

To Whom It May Concern:

I received a call this weekend that one of my friends, who I had the opportunity to call a close, if not best friend, had killed himself.  He was a soldier in the United States Army and had served several tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.  He couldn’t deal with the issues surrounding his PTSD and TBI that he received while serving.  He went to everyone he could think of about these issues and was told, “you need to talk to someone about this”, but yet, no one told him who “someone” was and “someone” didn’t step up.

Over 2300 service men and women have fought for our freedom, only to come home and kill themselves over the battle raging within their hearts, souls, and minds?  My question is this: What would you do if that person were someone close to you? Would you sit blindly by or demand answers?  Would you pass the buck to someone else to do something about it or act? We cannot become complacent when there are thousands of men and women that at least deserve a chance to have access to good quality resources, support groups, and counseling services. 

We have done a terrible job of taking care of the veterans’ mind and soul, while we think that we are doing great things taking care of the physical body.  I urge you to do what you can to get the word out about service related suicide and to see what can be done to help people like my husband, my cousin, my best friend, my neighbor, and individuals with the United States military that we kindly refer to as “family”.  Over 2000 lives lost are the guiding force behind this.  I say that if even one life is lost because of lack of resources and the stigma attached to military related grief and trauma, then we have done our service people a GREAT disservice.

Have you ever sat across from someone who is struggling to make a life outside of the military for themselves, because they are no longer fit to serve?  As they struggle in a job or in school in order to do “something productive”? Have you sat on the phone long nights, just trying to talk a friend out of drinking himself to death?  Have you heard the families talk about how a suicide, and not just any suicide- a military suicide, has affected them to the core?

Please don’t just read this letter and then throw it away.  As a person who loved the individual who killed himself this weekend, the grief has even affected me.  I can’t even imagine what his family is going through right now. I have not slept a full night since this happened, struggled with guilt and the grief of knowing that I had just talked with him two days prior to this.  I fully and truly believe that if the services were available to him-including group therapy and support, I would not be writing this letter to you today.  Instead, I am mourning the loss of a dear friend, whose life was much more to people, than a name on a list of service related suicides. When I think about his children growing up without a father, his parents without a son, his wife without a partner and friends, and countless others who lost their friend this weekend, I am full of grief and yes, anger.

Something MUST be done… I know that there are people willing to offer their services free to help individuals talk about the trauma, guilt, and grief that they feel. These include psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers as well as various medical personnel.  So why are not recruiting them to help our wounded warriors?  Perhaps, this letter will be disregarded or even thrown away, but at least I know that I did something to try to prevent another family from going through this and asking why, another person losing faith in the system that they work day and night to defend and protect. We at least owe them the opportunity to connect with someone and services so that they can come home and know that they are not alone. 

Respectfully,

Ami J. Scarbrough-Odell 

Support H.R. 396: Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) Treatment Act, which funds payments to non-VA /military facilities for treatments of TBI or PTSD for vets and Armed Forces members. Call your representative at: 202. 224-3121.