Everything Else Is Secondary...

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs



As things start falling into place in my own life, I sometimes wonder how others who have no regard for others in regards to feelings and general behavior, succeed. Due to this, I really like what Jobs had to say in the above quote. The Golden Rule is rarely upheld these days and often one heard stories of people going out of their way to exact revenge or to control others. I personally find it tedious to wish ill will on others because as my
Grandmother Rosalie used to say, "Harboring bitterness and hatred for someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"... Stewing in anger and bitterness does nothing. It also reminds me of the phrase, "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!" or "While you're worrying about what's going on in someone else's, your own house is burning down"... My friend Ali has stated it best, "Keep it moving"...she even sent me a shirt that says that to remind me.

So now there are people "stalking" me here and any where else they can find information about me and my family- blog stats and Google Chrome are great at logging IP addresses, by the way... Thankfully, I have had computer programming and web design classes to help me ascertain where my Internet "friends" reside... I never really knew my life was this interesting!!! But I suppose that is the easy thing to do rather than say anything face to face. Or to be direct. As I've said before, I have no problem calling people out (just ask my students when they decide to be cruel to a classmate).

However, I find that most people would rather be catty and immature than be adult about things. That is what separates the adults from the children. I honestly wish I had free time to do whatever I wish on a whim, but I'm busy finishing my doctorate, working on my career, and raising my daughter. And to be honest, even if I had the time, I sure wouldn't waste it cutting my nose off to spite my face.

One of my favorite things about the Jobs quote is that it's a constant reminder that in the end, the only opinion that matters is my own. Yes, I may defer to others for advice etc. but in the end, no matter what choice I make in life, I have to live with it. Everything happens for a reason and either we learn, grow and move on we continue to live in the past. I personally find it tedious to live in the past or to try to manipulate and control things. Things happen for a reason and either we let those challenges break us to the point of obsession or we learn to adapt, improvise, and overcome. I have no control over others but I can control how I react to them. More often than not, after carefully reflecting, I find that what I'm upset about is actually, rather silly.

So yes, everything else is secondary. I only have to live with myself and the decisions I make. And though getting the opinions of others in some situations is important, I still need to lead with my heart and what I know to be true. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't the right thing to do and other times it is. Either way, I have to live with whatever decision I make.