The people in the title actually crack me up... Instead of just asking people straight and being upfront, they would rather gossip and draw their own conclusions about things they know very little about. In fact, my favorite part of life is walking into a room where people are either gossiping about me or someone else and outing them. I have no problem sayin, "instead of gossiping about me and drawing your own, incorrect conclusions, why not ask me directly?"... Of course everyone a)looks shocked, b) scrambles to get out of the room (did I mention I usually stand in the doorway and say this), or c) someone inevitably tries to grow a pair and be ballsy (which is a smoke screen, because if they weren't cowardly in the first place, they would say to your face what everyone else has heard them say). I tend to not have a problem with saying what I think or even telling the complete truth. I have even been known to tell people more than they want to know because honestly, what business is it of theirs anyway? Usually that embarrassed them into silence...
That's where I think that this blog is funny too. People come here to gossip about what they read here. Hmmm let me let you in on a secret, I am fully aware that I what I post here is out there for EVERYONE and my mother to read! So when people think that they are getting a juicy tidbit of information (like my sister in law) to share or it has been shared with them, chances are, the rest of the world who knows my blog is out there has read it. However, if it makes your life more interesting to read it and share it like it is an age old secret hidden away in a dungeon, so be it. I guess whatever floats your boat. In the meantime, I just sit and chuckle to myself. I am confident in who I am and I know for a fact that I am NOT perfect. We all make mistakes, but often times people hide either behind them or try to hide them. I tend to show my mistakes in the effort that no one else will make the same stupid ones I have and also so that if I think about making the same mistake twice, I am easily and quickly reminded of the situations, the people, and the surrealism, etc. and decide to take another-safer- approach.
I guess that is the irony of being transparent and really having nothing to hide. I can poke fun at myself and admit to things in this blog that other people can relate to, but aren't always as willing to share or maybe due to personality, it would be hard for them share. Either way, I am happy with who I am and there are days where I really wish that I had approached something in a different manner or taken a different route, but that is the beauty of life. You live and you learn. At the point is that you learn. There are plenty of things that I will never do again not because they weren't fun or adventurous, but because either I have matured or I should have probably died or been hurt or maimed from some of the foolish things I did in my youth. I can tell you stories that would make you wonder... Just ask my college friends who say that I corrupted them... I never did anything illegal, just dare-devilish...
There are also things that I should have not done in my recent past either... But one thing I have learned is that you can do several things: make the most of a bad situation, learn from your mistakes, move forward and educate others, or find new opportunities to learn and grow from. First and foremost, though you have to admit that you were wrong. I see no reason to stay bitter, angry, or for the most part miserable, because things happen for a reason. We may not know at the moment why that is, but many times it is for us to grow from it. Sometimes we don't grow because we make the same mistakes over and over again. That same stubbornness that causes many of us to succeed also allows us to keep trying to win at a losing game. Though persistence is a good thing, often I think that our attempts are misguided. I know in my past, mine have been. But it is the experience and aftermath, which determines how we will handle the next situation as it comes our way. Perhaps my biggest flaw is that I try to be everything to everyone in my life and I am only one person, so that is an impossible feat.
So for those of you who deal with nosy people in your lives (God knows I do and even people I have no clue who the heck they are, because of drama queens), just confront it head on. Honestly, if it is none of someone's business, then tell them so. Sometimes we try to "play nice", when the other person is actually playing pretty dirty. In other words, don't be a pushover. I am not saying throw the first punch either. I generally say that I won't throw the first punch, but once you engage me (rules of engagement), it's on and then I'm going to finish the fight. You can just ask my siblings about that one...
And remember, if someone insists on talking about you, your life must be pretty interesting in the scheme of things, for them to take time out of their lives and day to spend ruminating on items to judge you about. This is a particularly useful way of viewing things when dealing with the women in your life. Let's face it: women can be the most rude, hypocritical, cruel, catty, witches. That is why I personally have a few close female friends. They are also women who tend to think the way I do about how stupid it is to run in packs/groups. My best friend Julie says that you can spot them, the witches, a mile away because they don't approach you on their own, they come or fly in packs! Which I find to be absolutely true... Which explains the phrase, "hen pecked" by a bunch of biddies.
Everyone (at least most people to a point), has an aunt, cousin, neighbor, sister, a sister in law, a mother in law, the ex wife, or the ex girlfriend who loves nothing more than to talk about how you have failed at this and that. The key is to allow them to look like the fool all by themselves without really having to do anything. Don't cry or even try to argue your point. When you do that, you sink to their level. Rather stand your ground accept it for what it is and don't waste your time on their pettiness. Human nature is that it is much easier to judge people than to take a careful look at yourself to see what you might be doing wrong. I tend to have things that I need to worry about all my own without doing what my Grandmother Rosalie used to say, "borrowing trouble". I've even been known to, and Julie, Lynn, and Patty can attest to this, go into a room and say something along the lines of, "Oh, don't stop talking about me on account that I came into the room. Please finish your conversation or criticism of me and how I________ ".... The first time I did it in front of Julie, she almost choked because she said it wasn't that she was shocked, but the looks on everyone else's face was hilarious (no one ever said that being around me isn't fun).
So take this advice, because I know that MANY of you and myself included, will need it this holiday season... Like someone says to me all the time, "haters gotta hate".... That phrase makes me laugh, because some people, I believe, actually like to miserable and instead of doing something about it, they would rather just act like fool and be angry. If they took half the energy they use in hating your or trying to do whatever they do in an effort to make you look bad, they might actually be happy with themselves. Rather, they will cut off their nose to spite their face in the hopes that it will reflect poorly on you. I don't know about you, but someone else cutting off their nose doesn't hurt me in the least bit. It only makes them look foolish and I would suspect that it must hurt like Hades!!! Sorry, not my cuppa (tea)... So let the haters hate.... Positivity and goodwill trump negativity and hatefulness every time!!!!
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