And Here I Thought It Was the "Best" Policy...

My grandfather used to tell me that honesty was "the best policy". It may be, but it also evidently drives people away. I have come to realize that the truth hurts. Many people have no problem dishing things out, but they sure can't take them. Especially when items hit home. I have always been a straight shooter and evidently my last post, rubbed a few people the wrong way. However, I acknowledge it, but I am not apologizing because my blog is about how I FEEL and is my own publication, not a blog for people to get offended and think that it is just about them. It was about MANY people in my life in the past few years if not months... On any account, I still feel the same way and I also have to say that a few people, in their communications, confirmed what I already believed. Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut than validate what is being said.

With all that said, thank you to the people in my life who instead of getting "butt hurt" listened to what I had to say and also realized that what was being said, translated to other relationships and friendships. In writing it, I realized that I really do put myself out there for criticism and in doing so, I realize that I also sometimes don't give a rat's butt what people think in regards to my own experiences and opinions. I also know that if what I say gets people to really think about their own interactions with others, including me, then I have done my job. I was told that my blog drives people away, that I shouldn't be completely honest, and my favorite that I shouldn't write. Well much to my critic's consternation, I promise you that this will not happen. I am real, my emotions and experience are real and I refuse to apologize for the truth. Defensiveness and anger are not what I had hoped to gain from the last post nor from future posts. As with anything, I believe in teaching and learning. Being aware of items, even if they do not apply to one specifically is also important and an important aspect of life.

To conclude, I still believe that honesty and brutal honesty at times is best. I will never apologize for being "AmiJoy". I did that for far too many years and in that I was not only physically and verbally abused, but my spirit was broken. I have regained many things back and I have decided that no matter what, I will do my best to be the best I can. This also means moving forward from criticism and realizing that sometimes the truth even hurts, but it has to be spoken and believed. I also believe that someday, when I look back at my life, I can know that I did and said what I thought was important especially since in my past, I was silenced by words and fists. There is nothing wrong with telling the truth, but there will always be those who have a problem with it. Instead of dwelling on it, I choose to move forward, cut my losses, and thank God daily for those in my life who chose to remain. To me, that is TRUE acceptance when the truth speaks and people listen, agree or disagree, but realize that people are individuals and are allowed to have a voice. So as I sit here in the writing this in the ER waiting to find out what is going on with my best friend here in Alabama, no one who is a true friend should ever question MY loyalty. But what was once given so freely, is now reserved for those who respond in kind... Lesson learned and bridges burned...