So I have lost 15 lbs as of tonight... I am excited and proud of what I have done to prepare myself for this process. I am also so grateful for the support I am receiving from everyone. This is NOT an easy path and I even was considering backing out in the beginning. I think it was mostly due to the fear of what people would say or think and also a fear of having to change something about myself that kept me safe for so long. I realized eventually that my weight was not keeping me safe, it was merely hiding me from people who truly care. About 2 years ago, I decided that my health issues were NOT going to control my life any longer. I decided that the fibro was tolerable but I needed to see my doctor for a solution not a band-aid and I don't regret that choice one bit. I have seen too many people who would rather play the "poor me" card and forget that after awhile people just shut you out. So I resolved that when Bill was getting ready to leave, that I would not only do what I needed to in order to run things when he was gone, but also do what I could to change myself (inside and out) and my outlook.
One of my pastors at church prayed a prayer of healing for me and I honestly believe that intial prayer, my own prayers and other's prayers for me, are what helped me to take charge of my health. It is hard to teach about health when you aren't taking care of yourself as well as you should. So I had a change in my fibro meds and was optimistic. One of the reasons why I have hesitated to join a fibro support group is that so many people let their disability DEFINE their very being. It bothers me because I have had chronic pain for over 15 years now and there are ways for some, if not all relief. I guess some people do choose to be miserable. I understand that other things happen and I do have empathy but I just personally have chosen to LIVE LIFE and not let fibro take over my life. My belief with fibro is that the glass is half full- I always hope for a better day! And losing the weight is one way to get that glass fuller!!!!
With the official decision to have the bypass, this was decided based on me deciding to take charge of my life. It was frustrating and disconcerting to each right and exercise and only lose 10lbs only to gain it back. And for the record, I was doing it "The right way" but that "right way" did not work for me, so here I am: a week post-op with a 15 pound weight loss. It may not mean anything to some but to me it is a HUGE step in the right direction!!! I can proudly say, "I lost fifteen pounds and I am NOT going back to the self-defeated person I once was!"..... I'll still have the naysayers and people always giving me warnings about this, that, and the other. I will have bad days and good days. I will have friends who will stick by and support me and I will have people who will stab me in the back, but none of that matters to me. I'm not doing this for them, or their approval.... I am doing this for me and my family.
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