It's ALL About Perspective...

Don't say you don't have enough time.  You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.  ~Life's Little Instruction Book, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

This is not my usual long post, and no I have not forgotten about the forgiveness posts.... I will have another one ready this weekend.  I did want to share with you all that you will probably see that I have switched my ticker to show how many pounds I have left to lose.  I decided to do this because I don't want to live in the past! I am moving ahead with the goal in mind. I have 43 more pounds to lose to get to my set goal of being 150 lbs.  I know that I can do this so I am looking forward to seeing how close I get to it each week.

I have always been one to buck the status quo and to prove that I can DO it.  I hope that as you all see and read about my struggles, that you too, know that you can do it.  Believe me, I have my moments.  Like when I ate two Moonpie Minis the other day and then realized that I would have to run for an extra 30 minutes in order to burn the calories.  Boy, was that ever a reality check!!! Or when I decided to go for a healthy alternative to chips- flaxseed chips, only to have my body tell me, "Don't EVER do that to me again!!!".... I also don't want to run some days. I want to be able to eat without getting sick sometimes, but all of these things are what I go through to be stronger in the end.

Don't let what people say or do stop you!  I was told that I would never graduate from college, that I would never amount to much, that no man would ever want me, that I would never get married because I was mixed, that I would never have a child, that I would end up a statistic, that I would fail at losing this weight, that I was lazy, etc.  Don't let people pigeonhole you or label you!  Prove them wrong!!! As with anything, including weight loss, don't let what people say about you DEFINE you!!! If that was the case then I would be in a pretty sorry state and constantly worrying about what people think of me.  I live by this philosophy: I will do what I KNOW is right, REGARDLESS of if it is popular, if it puts people off, because in the end, I have to live with myself knowing that I could have done better. 

Right now, I am struggling with certain people in respect to boundaries.  I don't have an issue with the boundaries that I have set, but they sure do.  Case in point, how do you trust someone who obviously needs your support, but he or she has lied, backstabbed, thrown you under the bus, and then backed over you time and time again?  Not easy to forgive, but I have.  However, I have not forgotten.  So right now, I am trying to decide how close is too close.  I have pretty much decided NOT to let that person get close to me ever again. With that said, I WILL be kind to him or her because it is the RIGHT thing to do... I'm a nice person, but I wasn't born yesterday...

So how do you view things?  Do you see things as the glass half full or the glass half empty?  Let me challenge you to do something that I am doing this month... And it has nothing to do with weight loss or exercise (unless you want it to).  How about you chose one thing on a daily basis that you are thankful for.  When you see how much you have to be grateful for, it makes the other things in life seem so trivial.  And yes you can find something... But remember, it is all about perspective!

I Did It!!! Too Stubborn To Quit...

So ever since we have lived in Ellsworth, I have not really wanted to walk in town.  Partly because I was embarrassed because I was so fat, and secondly because the hills are horrendous.  Well, last night, I got enough courage to go and speed walk with Bill.  Since Chloe is up North at my in laws, last night was the perfect time to do this.  So we walked 3 miles in an hour.... And boy, was it hard making it home... We went quite far considering that I wasn't so sure about it.  I am glad that we did because I think that my husband sees that I am really serious about this.  I am grateful to him that he pushed me to have the surgery.  I was so worried that people would think that I was taking the easy way out, that I couldn't see a way out.  He quietly started researching my options but never pushed me until I was ready.  Then he stuck by my side, when I made the decision.

Yes, it has not been easy, but yesterday was easier than I thought it would be... And though it was tough (Ellsworth has WAY too many hills)... I did it.  One thing that Bill said last night stuck me with me.  "You are too stubborn to quit."... I think that sums me up totally.  I am too stubborn to quit... I put 100% into everything that I do and my perfectionist tendencies do serve me well.  For all the people, who still read my blog for signs of weakness, feel free to.  We are all weak at one time or another, but it HOW we rebound from the weakness that defines us.

Last night's small victory may not seem like much to some.  Especially those people who would love nothing than to see me fail at this, but I am going to shoot straight.  Knowing that people DO want me to fail, only makes me stronger.  You see, instead of using stress negatively, I use it as a positive motivator.  Keep on talking and keep on criticizing, because when it gets back to me, it is fuel for my determination!  You think you might know me, but you do not know me well because if you did, you would see that I am, have been, and always will be a fighter with a determined spirit.  Stress motivates me... I thrive under stress... Why do you think that I have so many things going on at once? If I could learn to ride a bicycle in a day at 4 years old, losing this weight is NOTHING!!! All I have to say to the haters is: THANK YOU!!!! You keep talking and I keep walking... And also, as my Grandmother Rosalie would say, "Shame on you!"

For those of you on your own journey:  Use stress to your advantage... Let it be a motivator instead of a spirit breaker.  Doubters and naysayers WANT you to fail, so they can say things like, "See I told you that you would never succeed!".  Don't give them the satisfaction of being able to cut you down like that.  You are important and you DO matter and even if your struggles are small to some, they matter to you.  Don't let anyone cut you down for you doing what you know is right.  Having gastric bypass was right for me.  It isn't, hasn't, and won't be for other people, and I recognize that.  One of my friends started the process and decided that it wasn't for her.  The great thing is that she recognizes that even though it wasn't for her, it is ok that it was for me!  I appreciate that support and honesty.  And I have never felt like I did the wrong thing since I have so much support.

For those of you supporting someone on their journey: Be positive, without judgment.  People need to hear that they are doing well or that they look good.  It's human nature! Yes, it can be embarrassing sometimes but also a GREAT motivator to the person you are supporting! In the long run, you will see how your encouragement and support can help someone else!  Yes, some days are harder than others, but having the support of a few good, true, honest, and trustworthy friends makes the difference. Be a support and help someone else be too stubborn to quit!!!